Inner Peace is what we’d all love to experience consistently as we weave our paths through everything life gives us. The good news is it is far simpler to attain than many of our outer (material or physical) goals. The bad news is that simple isn’t always easy! Attaining inner peace is not easy because it means healing the wounds from the past as well as replacing old habits with new, and that requires dedicated commitment. But the benefits are absolutely worth the effort.
Inner peace gives you the ability to live your life with a sense of happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment which is not disturbed or influenced by outside events. In other words, it helps us to experience having our personal power intact. How do you acquire it? By living your life your own way, not how others think you should. By not worrying about what others think of you and taking steps to heal the following wounds from the past:
1. Rejection: Rejection is a profound wound because the one who suffers from it feels rejected in his being and especially in his right to exist. In terms of behavior, they often doubt their right to exist. They seek solitude because if they receive a lot of attention, they would be afraid of not knowing what to do. They don’t know what to do with themselves when they get too much attention.
2. Injustice: People with the injustice wound are usually rigid and lack flexibility. Often a perfectionist. These individuals tend to cut themselves off from their feelings and often cross their arms. They try to be perfect and justifies themselves a lot. They find it difficult to admit that they have problems. They often doubt their choices. They like order and tend to control themselves by demanding a lot from each other.
3. Humiliation: People with the humiliation wound are often ashamed of themselves and others or afraid to shame others. They think they are dirty or unclean. They don’t want to recognize and assume their sensuality and their love of the pleasures associated with the senses. That is why they often compensate and reward themselves with food. And they gain weight quickly to give themselves a reason not to enjoy their senses.
4. Abandonment: The wound experienced in the case of abandonment is the second deepest after that of rejection because they both affect the being at a profound level. Those who suffer from abandonment do not feel emotionally nourished enough. They think that they cannot do anything on their own and regularly needs someone to support them. They tend to dramatize a lot: the smallest little incident takes on gigantic proportions.
5. Betrayal: The wound of betrayal is intimately related to the wound of abandonment. Very uncompromising, they want to show others what they are capable of. They often interrupt and respond before a person is finished. When things don’t go fast enough to their liking, they become angry. They hate not being trusted and do not always keep their commitments and promises or forces themselves to keep them.
To experience inner peace, we also need to be able to forgive and to let go of guilt. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Feeling guilty about past actions won’t change them and won’t make anybody feel any better (either you or the person whom you’ve hurt). Do what you can to put things right, resolve to do better in the future and move on.
Likewise, letting go of anger or grudges will bring about a surprising sense of peace. Think about it – how does holding onto these negative emotions help you? And do you think they hurt those against whom you hold them more than they hurt you? Not at all. They are your emotions, and you are the only person whom they can harm.
Of course, it can be very difficult to forgive someone who’s hurt you, but what I’ve come to realize is that most people don’t maliciously set out to hurt others, and those who do are deeply unhappy themselves. The motivation behind their action was most probably some kind of fear rather than deliberately wanting to cause hurt or pain. And thought of in that context, it’s easier to let it go.
And with a little bit of practice at forgiveness, you may even find yourself getting less annoyed or angry with people in the future. When you can shrug things off and not take things personally (it’s really about them, and not you), you’ll have a greater sense of inner peace and personal power.
Remember: Our happiness is determined by how we think about the events in our lives, rather than by the events themselves. Take charge of your thoughts and you take charge of your emotions.
To achieve inner peace, you also need to let go of worry. Hmm, another tricky one! Worry is similar to guilt. Worrying about what might or might not happen is completely unproductive, and totally destroys your ability to enjoy the present moment an in reality, the present moment is all we really have.
So, how do we learn to let go of worries, guilt and anger? Well, the first thing is to become consciously aware of what we’re thinking whenever we feel worried, guilty or angry. Notice what’s going on in your inner dialogue, and acknowledge that it’s your thoughts about the external event that’s causing you to feel the way you do, and not the event itself. Then reframe your thoughts to reflect what’s going on around you in a more positive light. Whenever you catch yourself thinking the old thought, banish it immediately and replace it with the new one.
“No-one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world.” — Dr Wayne Dyer
This will take a lot of practice but with patience and persistence you will develop a lighter inner dialogue that promotes a feeling of wellbeing and inner peace which will help you to reclaim your personal power, and the world will feel like a far better place to live in!
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