From the moment we were born, we’ve been a slave to our emotions. Babies cry, kids throw conniptions, teenagers rebel; even so, there are times when we need to rein these feelings in and learn how to control emotions.
Emotional intelligence is a little difficult to pin down in many ways, especially with the modern-day emphasis on mental strength. While the two are inter-related, it can help to work on emotional intelligence as its own practice. There are 5 proven ways to increase emotional intelligence.
#1 – Social Situations
Learning to handle yourself in social settings is the primary means through which emotional intelligence can be increased. Some people find social situations quite painful, but they are often the best way to excel. If you really want to fast track emotional intelligence, consider public speaking or debating. These are not merely mental practices, but they will require emotional skills to execute successfully.
#2 – Express Yourself
The majority of people do not know how to express themselves. In many ways, society teaches us to keep our emotions repressed, with a politically correct movement that prevents people from stating the truth. To offset this, learn to express yourself as much as possible. If not in a public setting, you can write or paint in ways that express how you truly feel. Expression is essential to wellbeing and its opposite, repression, will result in an unhappy lifestyle.
#3 – Undertake Charitable Acts
While many people are focused on acquiring material possessions, studies have shown that giving away things and taking on volunteer work actually leads to increased meaning and happiness in life. Seeing how other people live in substandard conditions is an excellent way to increase emotional intelligence. It will increase your empathy and compassion.
#4 – Talk Directly
The most direct way to increase your emotional intelligence is to find someone you are close to (such as your partner) and discuss how you feel. This will help you to understand how the other person feels and for you to release pent up frustrations. Releasing bottled up energy can assist in personal mastery, as there will be little holding you back. Good listeners are rare to find, but they are invaluable.
#5 – Evaluation
Most people live in subjective bubbles. For example, the authoritarian manager can often have no idea how he or she comes across to others. You can evaluate how you make others feel in order to improve your emotional intelligence. Another way to evaluate your emotional intelligence is through journaling your daily experience and quiet reflection. Always remember that your relationship to yourself will be reflected in your relationship to others.
The mind-body relationship is becoming clearer thanks to the advent of modern science. Likewise, the link between our thoughts and our emotions are also becoming better known. Research has demonstrated an obvious correlation between good emotions and a strong psychology.
Our thoughts and our emotions both form a circle reinforcing the other. Negative thoughts will generate emotions of a similar nature and these emotions will then result in more negative thoughts. This forms a vicious pattern that is most clearly observed in patients suffering from PTSD and other traumas. It is very difficult for these people to break free, and the events keep recurring in their minds.
Over time, such patients heal to an extent. The main way to heal is gradually, as these patients can focus their energies on things that they enjoy so that the memories fail to repeat themselves and lose some of their previous force. Calming therapeutic modalities work over time to gently alleviate these traumas. However, modern society is anything but therapeutic.
On the other hand, healthy emotions are linked with successful and a powerful psychology. People who are happier have more success and better interpersonal relationships. They have better concentration, memory, and social skills. It is far easier to be successful when you have a positive emotional framework as a foundation than to be struggling internally.
How to Manage The Relationship Between Emotional Intelligence and Strong Psychology
Everybody is in a situation where they need to better manage their thoughts and emotions. It takes some time, but there are proven ways to reinforce the strengths of our thoughts and emotions. These include:
3. Deep Communication
4. Creative Work
Meditation and mindfulness are practices where we simply observe what is happening in our minds. This is very beneficial in a world that is so externally orientated. We can observe how we feel and how these thoughts stimulate certain emotions. Over time, we can catch the negative thoughts before they gain too much momentum and ruin the whole day.
Deep communication is another technique where we work with a therapist or practitioner to document and analyze our own patterns for further insights.
Creative work is about self-expression. An intense dedication to creative work is an excellent way to remove any negative tendencies. What can happen is that we are so focused on artistic inventions that we are not focusing any of our energies on the things that make us weak. This works far more quickly than meditation and mindfulness if we can find something that we are truly passionate about.
After all, you can’t exactly burst into tears whenever your boss differs with your idea. And you can’t incisively hit others either because they annoy you. So how do you keep your emotions in check?
1. Be Prepared: Sometimes, we feel an abundance of emotion when we’re arrested unaware. When someone says something that we don’t anticipate, we might cry, laugh or get really angry. This might be okay when you’re among friends, but it’s another story altogether when you’re in the midst of a board meeting. One way on how to control emotions is to prepare yourself for what’s ahead. For instance, if you already know that you’re adjoining with an impossible customer, pace yourself. Tell yourself not to get brainish. Be the image of cool. Preparing yourself helps you control your emotions and not the other way around.
2. Be Objective: By assorting yourself from the berth, you’re able to consider things in a more coherent linear perspective. Let’s say you’re a diarist covering an earthquake calamity where thousands of people died. If you want to learn how to control emotions for long periods of time so you can do your job properly, detach yourself from the number of aggrieving people. Focus on the numbers and the skill. Learning how to control emotions might sound abrasive and cold in a calamity such as this; but occasionally, it’s the only way you can do your job and report the incidental properly.
3. Be Patient: Counting 1-10 won’t help you if you’re a jolly raring person. Therefore, it’s important that you work on that area of yourself. Being in an affected role helps delay abounds of emotion that may not be advantageous for the situation. It gives your feelings time to lessen and retreat. One way to civilize patience is speculation. This activity also helps you calm yourself down and appease strong beckons of emotion.
When we have strong emotional intelligence, we are better able to control the way we react to the factors that affect us in our environment thereby making it easier for us to manifest our desires. Thus, making it possible to create and achieve a happier lifestyle.
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